I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize