i barfeds in our rink
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
