There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My ass is underappreciated
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Panties = found
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
