if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
