In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize