Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
