what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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