OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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