She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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