I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
