Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
