He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
