Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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