evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
