i think i have two assholes
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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