so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
