I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
where are my eyebrows?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
