you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
