is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
