no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
