Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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