I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
