is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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