if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
