he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
