Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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