I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
