Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
