She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize