After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize