You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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