Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
