you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
