my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Can I color on your dick again?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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