my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
