I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
