does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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