I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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