My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
