In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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