apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
