I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sex in the backyard? Check.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
