no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
