And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
