I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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