How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize