did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize