its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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