So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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