i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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