i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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