Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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