I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
