hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
