So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize