Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
